Another Homeschool Year Ahead

Things have been busy this summer, so busy with canning, freezing, gardening and socializing you'd think I wouldn't have time for much else. That would be true if I wasn't such a neurotic planner and anxious artist. We've been facing a big question this year, a conundrum that has been raging war in my mind for the majority of the summer.

Finishing last year's academic agenda was grueling. The kids did great but myself, on the other hand, found it difficult, taxing and so very draining. In addition to our daily book work, I am chauffeuring taking my kids on play dates, field trips and social outtings. This spring I also vowed to gain control of my physical health and began and running/walking program, I began long distance swimming again and joined a weekly strengthening class with a real-live trainer. It seems to be working. I have lost 25lbs so far. Those two responsibilities alone (homeschooling and my health) have become major time-suckers, and when you add that to my gardening, canning and general money saving activities in the home I have little time for anything else.

But there is something else that I have neglected in all my busyness. My creative writing. I said to my husband recently that I am not a business minded career woman. I am not a very good homemaker. I am an artist, a writer who sometimes channels Virginia Woolf. I don't get nearly as much time to write as I would hope and as a result my progress has been relatively slow. This past year, from February to June has been a very long dry spell, one of my longest to date and that had me worried. Worried that I was starting to forgo my own ambitions entirely to be one of those women who doesn't know what do with them selves once the children are gone. I don't want that. I know who I am and what I am meant to do and I am trying to do the best for everyone. It's not easy. It's a tough balance.

For us, with the public school choices we have in our area, homeschooling is better for both my children. I am not a public school-basher. I don't go on and on about how horrible public schools are or how neglectful public school parents are. I like to keep things positive and this year I vow to continue doing that. I have gone through many weeks this summer agonizing over the best course of action, weighing both sides evenly before ultimately deciding to homeschool one more year. After that who knows. I said when we started, we will take it one year at a time. I just never thought making the decision to keep homeschooling would be more difficult than making the decision to start homeschooling.