Staying at Home

Yesterday I posted about the Real Housewives of Orange County, today I am back from fantasyland and will be talking about real bousewives, you know, the kind of woman who acts as cook, chauffer, nanny, maid, guidance counsellor and CEO practically single handedly.

This is not a post about the choice between career and home. There is enough lively debate on the internet about such things. I firmly believe that the feminist movement was a catalyst for choice, whichever you choose. Because of my choice, I will spend most of my time talking about being a stay at home mom, a housewife, or as I like to dubb myself, The House Mouse. I have been on both sides of the counter and for the time being I like being a housewife.

Housewives tend to be underrated in our society. Sometimes they are often viewed with scorn or jealousy. Somewhere in our modern ways of the two-income trap, housewives became associated with luxury. The choice to stay at home, thus foregoing a second income, is out of the realm of possibility for many. There are numerous women out there who have to work. It is because of these women who have to help the family finances, that I feel there is a monocure of luxury involved with being a housewife.

It certainly isn't luxurious by way of work load, or stress or even time to one self. Staying home requires work in that money can often be an issue and moms at home need to be relentless in minding the budget and pursuing money saving activities to keep the home running smoothly. In that respect, it is not luxury.

I often tell my husband that I am spoiled. I am not spoiled in the sense that I get whatever I want, or that I am living the high life. I feel spoiled in that I have a choice. I choose to make laundry soap, cookies and muffins so that our family can survive on less income. I stick to a tight budget and plan menus so I can stay home. I clean toilets, scrub ovens and dust so that the world will be a better place -- okay so I made that last one up.

Being a housewife or stay at home mom can be challenging but it can also be wonderously rewarding. I used to have a career. I worked in newspapers interviewing mayors and town councillors. I was working out of my car and staying up late at night to file a last minute story. I was trying to have it all but it just wasn't working for me. Luckily we were not saddled with a large debt so the choice to stay at home became a simple mathematic equation. Money in, money out. I let go of my career and sought out other creative outlets. In the last three years since I have been strictly a housewife not much has changed.

I still lack a clear direction in my life. I still flip flop about what I would like to do or where exactly I see myself going. But I tell ya for all the uncertainty in my future, I know one thing that will most definitely come to pass; my children will continue to grow day by day. One day, not too soon I hope, I will turn around and they will be fully grown, registering for university and asking to borrow the car. We are on borrowed time and this luxury of staying home will be but a memory. I might as well enjoy this time while it's here even if it means scrubbing a toilet from time to time.