Sometimes a little goal writing is just what the therapist ordered...in this case my Realtor. At least it's what she would order if I told her why I am having such a hard time committing to buying a house. I have been in a period of transition this past summer. A time when everything I thought I knew, cared about and dreamed up started to morph and change and mutate into completely different and highly unexpected things.
A year ago I would have told you very clearly about my dream to homestead, to live completely 100 per cent off the land, with a small herd of sheep, a thousand miles away from everyone and anyone. A year ago I could dream anything I wanted because dreams are just dreams. My reality is completely different.
I have decided to write down my priorities in order of importance so that I may better understand my life path and where I should go from here.
What Matters Most
1. Financial Independence. I want to owe as little money as possible. Neither borrower nor lender be. No credit cards, no loans, only the most minimal borrowing required to secure a solid home investment with the quickest possible payment schedule. This will require some frugal finesse of course but I am up for the challenge.
2. My Passion. I have a passion for creative writing that has taken a backseat for many years. I have dabbled and flirted a bit with the idea of being a writer, a real novelist who actually finishes a book to near perfection and gets it published. There is a fire inside me that truly must be fed. I can not deny this part of me any longer.
3. Natural living. I want to live close the nature. I want to see birds at my windows and flowers in my garden. I want to eat from my backyard, literally and figuratively. I want to eat local when possible and preserve my harvest. I want to learn all I can about cooking with the seasons and extending the growing season.
4. Family and Friends. Realistically family is my absolute number one, without question. However that seems more a of given. I am a woman who is greatly dedicated to my family. Friends however is something I want to encourage more of. I want to have people over. Develop close friendships. I want to create roots in my community and begin to feel like I belong here instead of thinking it's a way station until we get to where we are really headed. This is integral to creating a home.
5. Green Living. I want to lessen my foot print. I want to make environmental choices because it's the right thing to do. I want to consume less, grow more and really examine my needs as opposed to wants.
What Matters Least (...to me anyways)
1. Raising Animals. I no longer desire to keep animals. The benefit of raising animals for meat is greatly outweighed by the cost to house, feed and care for their upkeep. It is far more efficient for me to pay an expert, local farmer for his/her expertise because that is their job, livelihood and most likely their passion.
2. Growing Absolutely Everything. In this day and age, this is not necessary. Technology has made it so that individually we need not toil independently but work collectively. I can trade my skills for money which I can use in turn to pay another person for their skills. This is where self-sufficiency gets taken off my list of goals.
3. Rural Homesteading. I have decided I don't want to homestead in the traditional sense. Urban homesteading, if it really qualifies as that (which I highly doubt) is much more my style whether I live in the country or not, I am not seeking a self sufficient farm.
This process of looking for a house, holding hard and fast to dreams that no longer hold a flame in me, has been very much a learning experience. I have learned that by letting go of certain dreams and moving on towards others is very liberating. Buying a home is a huge step but it's one that I never thought would teach me so much.
Now would someone please tell me which house I should buy so I can get this show on the road? If only it were that easy.
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